Vocal Ignorance.

I believe in many things... I believe in God, I believe in Religion, I believe in Science... I believe in freedom of choice, gender equality and I believe in same sex marriage... Above everything else I believe in a person's right to respect for their beliefs and choices.

But for as long as Nicola has been a much beloved part of our lives, we have met a certain amount of adversity and sometimes animosity from some other people. I have known for a long time that there would always be people who wouldn't agree with our choices.

But, to be honest, I never thought I would find someone who would disagree with our choice to keep Nicola alive.

I'm not naive, I always knew there would be people who would argue that her quality of life was not good enough by their standards, or who would think that the pain that she lives with, or the constant medical issues would not make her life worth living...

Yet, to be honest, I never thought I would find anyone who would not only express their opinions quite vocally to my face, but argue the point with me when I politely tried to disagree...

And that is exactly what happened on Saturday night... in front of all my family and several close family friends, at a celebration of love and happiness (my parents wedding anniversary).

My new next door neighbour came over to have a drink with us. I We had met on a couple of occasions beforehand and she has always appeared somewhat nice... yet Saturday night, just out of the blue, she asked me straight to my face why I bothered to keep Nicola alive.

The silence was like nothing I have ever experienced before... and the tension was palpable as every single person there turned and looked at me and waited for me to respond... which was really hard considering that the only response I really wanted to form was a string of obsenities followed by a flood of tears.

Instead, as calmly as I could, I told her that I didn't feel anyone else had the right to judge what quality of life is considered acceptable and that I felt that, despite her pain and her medical needs, Nicola's quality of life was actually quite good and that she was generally happy in the life that we provide for her.

Her response?

To tell me that her dogs are like her children now that her own children are grown and moved on and if it got to the point that her dogs couldn't run or play or do the things that SHE felt were important, she would have them euthanised... and she would do the same for her children.

She argued repeatedly for a good 20 minutes that a life that isn't 'normal' isn't worth living and we should not persist in our desire to keep her alive when her quality of life is not acceptable.

I don't understand this argument... I never have been able to. I struggle to find any reason, logical or emotional, that would give any person the right to take the life of another. I am not God... that choice is not mine to make... I am just a mother.

She is my child... she is my flesh and blood... and I will fight for her life with my last dying breath.

What kind of mother would I be if I turned my back on her just because she doesn't conform to what a bunch of mindless morons incapable of an iota of free and independant thought have deemed to be considered 'normal'?

What my neighbour said hurt. It really hurt... And I know that what she said, even though she probably didn't think there was anything wrong with it, hurt not only me, but my family and friends, all of whom love Nicola deeply. It hurt to think that anyone could possibly look at my daughter, see her smile, see her laugh, see her interact with her sisters and her family, and tell me that her life is worthless. It hurts that anyone could think that any child, regardless of their abilities or needs, is considered less important than any other child, or worse, that they are considered replacable.

Of course, she single handed pretty much ended the party... after that there wasn't much more to be done... I think everyone was a bit stunned. I walked inside and sat in Nicola's room, just watching her sleep.

Now... in the light of a new day, a good day, I know that it doesn't matter what she thinks. Her words may hurt, but I can chose to ignore them, which is what I am going to do from now on. I am not that desperate for a couple of free haleconia's that I would tolerate that kind of ignorance... instead I will chose to continue as I have been doing... to focus my time and energy on giving my children the best possible life I can give them... each and every one of them.

Semi Precious Stones

It’s no secret that I’m addicted to jewellery and probably even more so now with all these semi-precious jewels on the go just now. I love this image of this girl fully embracing the Pocohauntus look! Very jealous of her jewellery.

I've been after a Titanium Quartz ring for a while now but had always managed to avoid temptations but as soon as my student loan came in at the start of the month i knew what it was going on! Titanium aura quartz is formed when titanium is permanently bonded with quartz crystals and there is a stunning end result. This is the bad boy i recently purchased:

Pretty amazing really! If we’d studied this in Chemistry at school instead of heating carbon dioxide in a test tube over a Bunsen burner to see if it smelled I would have been well and truly IN. Maybe I’ll write them a letter; i do also recall the acetone being quite handy for removing chipped nail varnish.

I’ve also got quite a thing for turquoise/teal coloured jewels just now, they’re really refreshing and colourful and since i wear quite a bit of black they’re great for spicing things up. I bought this first ring a couple of months back and was pretty devastated when I thought I’d lost it, I ended up buying a new one after putting it off for so long and the old one turned up the next day! So I now have two J

Just to balance off my teal semi precious collection I’ve also invested in these two necklaces and earrings, I’m in love with anything tribal and feathery just now. I knew Pocohauntus was going to be an inspirational female figure some day!

 I had a really nice weekend and i think my boyfriend liked the surprise castle visit it was such a beautiful  place although kinda creepy and eerie. I’m heading down to Cambridge with them family tomorrow for my Granny’s funeral, it will be nice to see everyone but a devastatingly sad day at the same time. Hello hardcore mag session on the 8 hour train journey.  

Lots of Love

Nic xxxxx

God Save McQueen

Alexander McQueen was one of my favourite designers, and probably like many of you I was distraught by the news of his death just over a year ago. McQueen's death was such a shock to everyone as He was at the peak of his career but sadly he couldn't cope with the death of his mother who had passed away just days before and it is believed this is the cause of his suicide.

I bought this t-shirt not long after he died firstly because i loved the design and secondly as i wanted a reminder that i could keep untill I'm old!

Plato's Atlantis was probably one of my favourite collections by Alexander McQueen; it completely blows me away every time I see it. The collection was such a revolutionary asset to the fashion industry as it uses Show Studio technology pioneered by Nick Knight which allowed the entire show to be recorded and streamed to the public live from Paris (you can view the video here). The atmosphere he created was immense and the clothing was exquisite, his death was an absolute tragedy to the industry.

 Here are a few designs from the collection:

Quite recently at a Jungle themed party i tried my best to re-create the Plato's Atlantic look and this is what i came up with :

Apparently you don't get McQueen Serpants in the Jungle... but in my world you do! Sorry that the picture's a little bit blury, it was taken on a mobile.

I was a little bit sceptic about another designer taking over from McQueen and carrying on with the McQueen brand but creative director Sarah Burton has been doing an amazing job and is even rumoured to be designing Kate Middleton's wedding dress.

Hope you have all been having a good week, i'm so glad theres only one more day untill the weekend! I have a surprise planned for tomorrow night for me and my boyfriend, so hopefully it all goes ok! I'll be sure to let you all know how its goes :) Happy Thursday

Lots of Love

Nic xxxx